Song of Solomon 8:6-7
Colossians 3:12-17
1 John 4:9-12
When
Maren and her brothers were very young, one of their favorite activities was to
play dress-up. Usually, Maren would dress as the Queen; Etienne would proclaim
himself King; and toddler Alex was consistently cast in the role of servant. They
had a drawer full of cast-off clothes and old Halloween costumes that they
would carefully layer on themselves, piece after piece. It was as if the more
they put on, the more elegant and grown-up they felt. I'll let you picture
Maren in a tutu over a pair of sweatpants, a flowered pajama shirt covered by a
batman cape tied around her neck, all complemented with huge adult shoes, gloves,
a plastic purple tiara, and several long chains of beads that reached to her
knees.
There
was one article of clothing, however, that invariably caused a fight, because
each child wanted to wear it. It was the beaded neckline torn from one of
Granny's old mother-of-the-bride gowns. Something about that glistening,
bejeweled scrap of chiffon was incomparable to any other item that I might offer
in its place. Whoever wore that piece, somehow laid claim to happiness and love
beyond measure; and those who didn't possess it were cast off into a sea of
grief.
Maren
and Dan, as you begin your lives as a married couple, you're going to be
layering on lots of dreams. Some of them, you will unpack from the suitcases of
things that you bring with you from your childhood: you will put on words and
silent expectations that your parents used to wear; you will try on scratchy
hurts from your school days and the fondest hopes of your teen years. Some will
fit your relationship well, and some will be most uncomfortable.
Our
consumer culture will also offer you boxes of items to layer on yourselves: homes,
cars, vacations, success, fitness and eternal youth, to name just a few. The
world will give you boxes of busyness, along with heavy crates of the
expectations of others. And you will be tempted to hang them around your necks
like chains.
The
bible readings that you chose for your wedding day offer you a different,
counter-cultural kind of wardrobe, however. According to St. Paul, God is
giving you the garments of compassion, kindness, humility, patience,
forgiveness, and gratitude. In marriage, I especially encourage putting on
forgiveness and gratitude, day after day without fail, from sunrise to sunset. That
important combination will keep you warm in troubled times.
As
for the other virtues, I'm not worried. Kindness, humility, patience--they are
virtues that I have seen both Dan and Maren share, separately and in their life
together. I actually dug up an old
school assignment that Maren did in fifth grade about her dreams for her adult
future. There are some hilariously embarrassing bits that I will share later
with Dan. But on the serious side, I smiled to see what Maren wrote when asked
to describe her adult self: "I will be charitable, kind, and love the
earth and everything that inhabits it. I will be extremely concerned with the
needs of those who have less than I. I will always be the first one to jump up
in the name of a cause …" Fifth-grade Maren knew herself pretty well. And
she is blessed to have found a partner who shares her view of the world.
In
all of the scripture readings, though, there is one garment that sparkles just
like that piece of bejeweled chiffon that the children used to fight so hard
for long ago. It is one that is beyond compare, one that indeed brings
happiness beyond measure. Of course, that garment is love: The love that God
has for all Creation; the love that pours itself out for the sake of the other;
the give and take of love that binds humans together; the love that Christians
see in Jesus' life and death.
The
good news is that we don't need to fight over who gets to wear this beautiful love.
It is a gift of God that is, in the poetic words we heard from the Song of
Songs, as powerful as unquenchable fire and as inevitable as death. If you try
to remove it, it pops up somewhere else. If you try to kill it, it roars up
from the grave. Where then can we find this Love? The amazing thing is that you
stand before us today, Maren and Dan, as living symbols of that great love. In
the Episcopal wedding liturgy, we say that marriage "signifies to us the
mystery of the union between Christ and his Church." That means that, in
the strength, faithfulness, and joy of your love for each other, we can get a
glimpse of the deep, eternal love that unites us with God in Jesus Christ. What your love symbolizes is stronger than
romance, more eternal than passion. It is God's presence, living in you, in
your relationship, and in your relationship with us, your friends and family. As
we just read, "no one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives
in us, and God's love is perfected in us."
Today, you are dressing in Love, for all to see. You
sparkle with God's glory. And we all bask in Love's light. May the rest of your
lives together be wrapped in that Love, and may you bring all those who journey
with you into God's loving presence. Long ago, fifth-grade Maren concluded her
essay on the future with a quote: "Do you want your dreams to come true? 'Give
[and love] more than you are asked and you will receive more than you can dream.'"
May it be so this day, and for every day of your lives together. Amen.
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