"Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and the living one. I was dead, and see, I am alive forever and ever; and I have the keys of Death and of Hades. Now write what you have seen, what is, and what is to take place after this." Rev. 1:17-19.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

"And Jesus said, 'My wife ...'"



        Have you heard the news about Jesus’ wife?! It sounds like the beginning of a joke, but I am being quite serious! A Harvard professor announced last week that she is in possession of a fourth-century Coptic manuscript fragment that says, “And Jesus said to them: ‘My wife …’”[1] Now, before we get too excited or upset, there are scholars who dispute the authenticity of the wording on the ancient papyrus , claiming that the writing is a modern forgery. And even if the manuscript is authentic, its fourth century composition date is even later than the dates of any of our canonical Gospels, so there would be major questions about the historical accuracy of such a text.  And yet, the news reports and the Twitter feeds are spreading like wildfire, as scholars line up on one side or the other of the question. My favorite of all the jokes on Twitter quips, in the tone of Jesus’ wife: "If you can feed thousands with a few loaves and fishes, then why do I always need to run to the grocery store?”
Seriously, though, the idea of Jesus having a wife seems to dredge up all of the anxiety that we still have in the Church over sex and over the role of women, anxiety that sets us to bickering. I can’t help but relate the issue to the angst created by today’s Old Testament reading, for the same reasons. The book of Proverbs ends with the poem in our first reading, a poem that describes the ideal wife from A to Z, each line beginning with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This ideal wife, this “superwoman” of the ancient world, spends her time serving her husband’s household, managing home and lands and family and cottage industry with skill and untiring devotion, working so hard that “her lamp does not go out at night.” While she is hard at work taking care of everything on the home front, her husband is free to sit with honor “in the city gates,” governing and making the important political decisions.
On the one hand, many very traditional Christians still hold this text up at face value as God’s will for all women. I was amazed at the number of Internet websites devoted to “Proverbs 31-wives,” sites that are full of recipes, devotions, childcare advice … and rants against contemporary American society. These websites give advice such as the following: a woman has but “one purpose which is to be a crowning joy to her husband, to make him as joyful as a king.”[2]
On the other hand, many feminist Christians are horrified at yet another biblical text that asks women to deny their personhood, to give and give of themselves while men take all the credit and make all of the decisions. They cringe at the history of interpretation of this text, interpretations written by men, stereotypical interpretations like the one that I found by good old allegorizing St. Augustine (who, like the new papyrus fragment, is also a product of the fourth century). He explains: “To prevent the flapping folds of carnal desires from getting in the way of her work, [the ideal wife] girds her loins … as she hurries about her work. There lies the chastity of this lady, tightly bound by the girdle of the commandment and always ready for good work.”[3] While some pious Christians might agree that such a virtuous and chaste woman could even be a suitable wife for Jesus, for many modern women, this text is merely an outdated example of the evils of stereotyping, oppression and patriarchy.
          While we immediately jump on the cultural stereotypes portrayed in this text, I would like to point out that the real wisdom of Proverbs 31--what women and men can both learn from it--lies in the ways in which the wife portrayed here does not fit ancient cultural patterns.
       The first surprise in our text is the emphasis on the wife’s strength and boldness. What our translation calls “a capable wife,” is really in Hebrew a “valiant wife,” or a “wife of competent strength.” Usually used to describe men, this Hebrew word is used for someone who is a valiant warrior, a mighty and strong hero, a man who is set over the people, someone who is expert and in charge. The only other woman described with this word in the Hebrew Scriptures is Ruth, so called by her kinsman Boaz, who is impressed with her loyalty, strength and courage when she dares to come to him at the threshing floor. The woman in our text is no wilting lily, hiding behind her husband’s coattails. She is bold and confident like Ruth. She is “clothed in strength and dignity.” She even “girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong.” Such “girding of the loins” and strengthening of the arms are not, like Augustine suggests, signs of feminine chastity. They are common masculine images of preparation for battle or for hard physical labor. The valiant wife is physically and spiritually prepared to surmount whatever obstacles are put before her. All of us, women as well as men, could use some of her wise valor in our lives. Jesus’ wife would need such valor and strength, I imagine, as she watches him walk away to die in Jerusalem.
The second surprise in Proverbs 31is that the characteristics of beauty and charm, so often ascribed to women, are derided here as deceitful and vain. This poem is not about Miss America winning the swimsuit competition. Its emphasis on the ideal wife’s industry rather than on her physical charms makes me think of the clever Shakespeare sonnet that I was delighted to discover in high school. Buried in the anthologies of sickly sweet love sonnets is Shakespeare’s number 130, describing the poet’s beloved as one who, “If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head… And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. … And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare.” Just as Shakespeare is parodying the typical love poetry of his day, it could be that the author of Proverbs 31 is rejecting the widespread emphasis on outer beauty in Near Eastern literature in order to call attention to the importance of wisdom, wisdom that is defined as “fear of the Lord.”[4]  
I doubt that the Bachelor on that addictive TV show of the same name lists “fear of the Lord” as one of the characteristics of his ideal wife! But Psalm 112 utters similar praise to the wise man: “Happy is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments.” To fear the Lord is not, of course, to curl up in a ball of abject terror before a cruel Judge. It is not to expect punishment or to second-guess one’s every move as sinful. To fear the Lord is to know that God is God and that we are God’s creatures.  To fear the Lord is to worship God and to obey God’s commandments, to keep in covenant with God. From the valiant wife in our text, we see that we see that fearing the Lord means to help the poor and take care of the needy; and that we are to relate to everyone, rich and poor, with loving-kindness.
So, if we were to fill in the blank on the papyrus fragment about Jesus’ wife, we could write, “Jesus said, ‘my wife … is strong and valiant and wise; she does her duty and lives as a child of God.” Modern women could deal with that description. I wonder, though, if all of our fighting over the role of women doesn’t resemble the fighting of the disciples in our Gospel lesson over who is to be the greatest. Wisdom deals with our “place” in the scheme of things, with order and hierarchy, with works and duty.  Yet, for us Christians, there is a paradox when it comes to wisdom. Wisdom can teach the way to right action in our daily lives, but we cannot grasp hold of our categories and roles and hierarchies for security, as we are wont to do, for Jesus invariably turns them all on their heads. Remember the words of St. Paul, “Where is the one who is wise? …Where is the debater of this age? For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.” (I Cor. 1:20-25)      
When Jesus heard his disciples arguing, he took a little child and put it among them, throwing all society’s roles and hierarchies to the wind: “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all,” Jesus says.  A child in the ancient world had no role. He could be here today and dead tomorrow of some disease. He had no status and no legal rights. Yet Jesus welcomed him and put him at the center of his group of disciples.
          It is fitting, then, that the ancient papyrus is missing an adjective. “And Jesus said, “My wife…”
“And Jesus said … “my disciple”
“…my friend”
“…my child”
“…my beloved”
With God, it’s not the role that matters. It is the relationship. 


[1] Deirdre Good, Daily Episcopalian, “On the ‘Jesus’ Wife’ Fragment,” found at http://www.episcopalcafe.com/daily/scripture/academic_conferences_are_not_u.php.

[2] relijournal.com/.../what-is-a-proverbs-31-woman-anyway
[3] St. Augustine, from the Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture, vol. IX, 187.
[4] Bruce Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15-31. Eerdmans, 2005, 517.

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